The North Star

imageIsn’t that what were taught, if your lost in the middle of the Mohave desert to use the North Star to gain your sense of direction again? Well what if your tired of knowing where your going? That predetermined map that everyone around you has filled your head up with on a set course, so much so that you’ve even set yourself on that course. It’s tough, it’s tough to wake up and see it. But it can be done. 

I always had a dream as a child, a life goal of a dream, not a night time dream. I wanted to be a police officer, that’s all I wanted to do. At the age of 4 I got my first guitar, it was a Christmas gift from my father in 1992, I remember it like yesterday. A gloss black Palmer guitar- child sized but professionally so, it wasn’t a miniature but it was just small enough I could play. I didn’t know it yet but if I had just developed a passion for guitar I could have changed my destiny. I thought I was cool yes but that was it.

It took me a long time to realize that music is what sets my mind on fire, and I mean I get goosebumps when I picture myself in the spotlight. Karaoke is fun don’t get me wrong, and there’s no cooler moment than a couple dancing to your voice but no I mean I want to feel that fifty thousand people in your face adrenaline rush. Well no luck yet, in fact there’s no one to blame for that but myself. I’ve moved from one career field to the next every few years, having moments of happiness but nothing meaningful. Will I ever take that trip towards the ten year overnight dream? I’m not sure yet, I like to think I get closer every day and that when I save up enough I’ll do it, but then I want more and more in my bank account and become oblivious to my dream. Am I the only one? You don’t need to answer that. I just wish life could be like the movies- just hop in the truck, or board a bus and go. It’s just hard to leave your comfort zone. A man told me once when I was a teenager, he said” if you get that feeling like your about to jump off of a cliff before you do something, then you should probably do it.” He went on to say ” it means your leaving your comfort zone, and to be successful you need to leave that sometimes”. I’ll never forget that conversation as long as I live.

Starting this blog was a step out of my comfort zone, ” you mean I can let everyone read what I think?!!” Well now I look at it as a privelege. It’s a privelege to know that when I’m gone, my words will still be here. And I thank you for reading, I don’t know what path I’m headed down but I do know hard work and integrity will make it a great one!

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3 thoughts on “The North Star

  1. tracihalpin says:

    Great writing. I think the same way. I too have dreams to work towards. I get frustrated bc I want them now, but now isn’t the time. Check out my post: I want a different life. You sound like me and how I romanticize being rich and famous. Rationally I know living in LA and being rich and famous doesn’t equal happiness, but the fantasy in my mind will not settle down. One day I will visit there. One day I will live by the ocean.

    Like

    1. Ricky Pennington says:

      I will definitely check your post out and thank you for reading mine! I never realized that but yes I do romanticize that lifestyle, sometimes I dream about it and wish I could just keep dreaming lol I’m going to read yours right now šŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. tracihalpin says:

        Yea I had a shrink once tell me that is a fantasy get it out of your head. That’s when I was married and fantasizing about living differently.

        Like

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